Leon’s Birth Story

     On Thursday, May 2nd, 2019 I woke up around 5am after a dream I was getting my period. I noticed there was quite a bit of wetness but had just been discussing with one of my midwives that watery discharge in late pregnancy is perfectly normal, so I went pee and went back to sleep. 

    I woke up again around 7, and when I got out of bed I felt a rush and fluid started dripping down my legs and onto the floor. It kept dripping as I made my way to the bathroom, and at that point I really wondered if maybe my water was leaking. I also began to have some mild period-like cramps in my abdomen, along with my Braxton Hicks contractions I had been having for weeks. I texted my midwives to double check on what was going on and began waiting for labor to really get going. I called Jessee and Britt and told them my water was leaking and that I was going to try to jump start labor. I knew that once my water broke the possibility of infection was more likely, and so I couldn’t really wait for labor to start at a leisurely pace. 

    I bounced on my birth ball, drank some coffee, played with my dogs, and just went about my morning. I was still having cramp-like contractions, but they were irregular and varied in intensity. We had breakfast and ran some errands, and Jessee and Britt tidied the house and set up the birth pool. I took a short nap in the afternoon. Michelle (one of the Mosaic midwives) came by around 3 to see how things were going. We talked about natural ways to induce labor and get things going more quickly since they weren’t really progressing. She did a cervix check and said I was 2cm and only 50% effaced. We decided to insert a foley bulb and do a membrane sweep to speed my dilation and get more regular contractions. After a few hours of that and some herbal tinctures we also tried a last-minute acupuncture appointment. 

    Through the night my contractions got more regular and I was very hopeful, but any time I sat in a comfortable position my contractions would lessen in frequency and intensity. The foley bulb finally came out around 4am Friday morning (which meant I was dilated to a 4), and I had been having regular contractions through sleep that night. Michelle kept up communication with me through that time and talked me through feeling frustrated, like my body was failing me in what it was made to do. After walking, bouncing, squatting, and continuing with herbal tinctures, I had a conversation with Jessee about having Michelle check me again and heading to the hospital if I still hadn’t increased in dilation or effacement as at this point my water had been leaking for over 24 hours. We cried a little at the prospect of losing the home birth we had imagined, but I told her it was still possible to have a minimalist hospital birth and that really the point of all of this was to have a healthy mama and baby. I took a shower which, while it felt wonderful, also resulted in less intense and frequent contractions. 

    Michelle came by and confirmed that after the foley I had not dilated any more; I was stuck at a 4 and still 50% effaced. We had been monitoring my temperature, amniotic fluid, contractions, and baby’s heartbeat and other signs of fetal distress or infection up until this point as well. We had conversations about directions to the hospital, Michelle texted one of their favorite residents to see if she would be available for our birth, we discussed transfer of patient records and what to expect when we arrived at OU Children’s, and I emailed them the final copy of my hospital birth plan. Jessee and I talked about pain medications, which I told her I still didn’t want at this point. We agreed on a pain scale and check in based on green, yellow, and red. Jessee and Britt put away the birth pool and we all packed what we wanted to bring to the hospital.

    We arrived around 12:30, and made it to a delivery suite around 1:15. The nurse came in and got medical history and hooked up the fetal and contraction monitors, which I would need to have on for at least 30 minutes before they started Pitocin to get things going. She also confirmed that I was still 4cm and 50% effaced. Michelle, my mother (Liz), and my mother-in-law (Debbie) met us at the hospital. Pitocin finally got started at 2:30 on Friday, May 3rd. 

    My contractions started slowly getting more frequent, regular, and intense. They very slowly upped the dosage every half hour after assessing progress, but I don’t really remember what time things really got going. For awhile I contracted in the bed on my side, and Jessee got behind me with her arms around me and would press on my back when the pain got worse. I started bouncing on a birth ball and then standing and leaning on the bed during contractions, and as they got stronger Britt and Jessee took turns or worked together putting counter pressure on my back. In between we all talked. Mama and Debbie were both so excited to be there for the birth of their grandson and we all shared snacks. Michelle made sure I had lots of pillows for support and did everything she could to make sure I was comfortable. Jessee hung up the copy of the Desiderata my sister Christi gave me a few Christmases ago; it was one of our dad’s favorite poems. I thought it would be nice to have to look at during the birth. I also wore earrings my sister Audrey gave me and brought snacks my brother T.J. gave me. I wanted to feel as at home as possible. 

    Again, at this point time was kind of a blur but as contractions got stronger and more painful the fetal monitor kept losing track of Leon. Firstly he’s never liked being monitored or palpated, so he kept moving away from the pressure, but secondly every time I bent over in a contraction that would also shift the monitor around. The nurse continued to tighten it to try and get it to stay and I was getting more frustrated by it as time went on and it started to itch and cut into my skin. I started wanting to sit the toilet as it was more comfortable to labor there with the openness of the seat, and it was easier to keep the monitor in place.

    Contractions got even more painful, and I started getting very vocal. I got a little irritated after awhile because everyone wanted to give me advice about contractions when I just wanted to make whatever noise I wanted. I apologized for being irritable and Michelle laughed and said I was allowed to be as irritable as I wanted. Jessee checked in with me on my pain level, which I classified as a yellow.

    The nurse did a cervical check around this point which was very painful, and told me I was at 6cm. I cried a little at this point because I felt like I should be further along, and also because that cervical check was really uncomfortable and kick-started REALLY painful, strong contractions. As I was yelling through a contraction on the bed I remember shouting, “It hurts, IT HURTS!” and I feel like someone told me to breathe through it and I told them I just wanted to fucking yell because I was in pain. I decided to move back to the bathroom as the pain felt like it was getting unbearable trying to bend over the bed, and sometime while I was in there Danielle (Mosaic’s student midwife and extremely experienced birth professional/doula/superwoman) arrived.

    She came and stood in front of me and said, “Sophia, you are using all of your energy yelling through these contractions. It’s like climbing a hill. You breathe on the way up, pace yourself for the top, and then cruise your way down.” She walked me through a couple, which was really difficult and frustrating for me because I would panic when they started and really wanted to yell the whole way through. She also got both my hands in an acupressure hold and showed Jessee and Britt how to do it. She kept coaching me on breathing through contractions, and when the pressure got too much I took my hands away and started shaking them all around, but mostly up above my head through the peak of the contractions. Jessee (I think it was her) laughed and said I was dancing. “Like the Charleston!” I said, and started to do the Charleston on the toilet. Moving my legs and hands made the contractions feel a lot more manageable, so I started doing that at the beginning of each one as well as trying to breathe and not scream. 

    At some point Danielle told me they needed to more closely monitor where I was and we had to leave the bathroom. I told her I really liked the way the toilet seat felt and she said we could figure that out back in the suite. She folded towels and put them on the bed to resemble more of a birthing stool type ring, and also moved the delivery bed so it resembled a giant chair. She had me sit on it and after a few contractions I felt like the pain was unbearable again. She had Jessee and Britt continuing pressure on my hands but also pushed my legs back into my hips using my knees, and it cut the pain IN HALF. It was amazing to me what a difference that made! To me those contractions were the most painful it got, and to have the pain reduced so drastically was such a crazy relief. My hair kept coming out of its scrunchy and my mother kept putting it back up for me. I got frustrated with my necklace and anything touching my neck (including cold cloths, NO) so Jessee took that off, but I also got really angry about sweating under my plastic admission bracelets. 

    The nurse came back over and said it might be time to start pushing, but we needed to check my cervix. I was terrified of having it checked again after the pain of the last check and how it immediately brought a gush of blood and painful contractions. I was blowing through contractions at this point trying NOT to push, because my body was ready to push. Danielle kept telling me to blow so I started blowing at the sweat under my admission bracelets. I really hated them and was cursing them at this point, but I guess it’s good they gave me something to focus on. I also began gagging/throwing up a little into one of those tube bags. Danielle told me there were ways that weren’t cervical checks to tell when transition was happening but that the hospital couldn’t use those. She said she thought I was ready. I cried because trying not to push was getting harder than my fear of a cervix check and I agreed.

    I got the all-clear to push and started the next contraction. It felt so good to do what my body wanted, and to know that my baby was almost here! An l&d nurse kept telling me to push the pain out, Michelle and the OB kept telling me I was doing really well, and Danielle told me to curve the push downward and make sure to keep the momentum. She also said the pressure wouldn't stop when the contraction did because baby was moving down the birth canal. I felt him crowning the first time and then recede between contractions. Internally I was slightly disappointed but also thought I remembered reading that this could help your perineum acclimate to the pressure and stress and could help prevent tearing. I kept pushing through contractions, some I was able to push a lot more than others. They tried to put my leg in a stirrup but I really hated that, so Danielle held my leg and my foot while I pushed.

    I don’t know how long after they told me he was crowning, “I see lots of hair!” When I heard someone say that I couldn’t believe it. They told me to keep pushing, keep pushing, that he was almost out. I was putting my head on my arm and resting in between contractions but it was so difficult to get his head out! One of the residents said something like, “Sophia, the baby is showing some signs of distress so we need you to push him out.” That really pissed me off, like after all of that and feeling his head partially out I was NOT about to have a c-section because someone got jumpy about the fetal monitor. With that I made another big push and everyone started saying things like, “He’s coming, he’s coming, the head is out, he’s on his way!” Jessee got to catch the baby but I didn’t even really see that part. I remember thinking “How long is he going to keep coming out of me?!” Once his head was out the rest of him just slid out after. 

    All of a sudden a purple slippery baby covered in blood and vernix was on my chest, and everyone was rubbing him. I couldn’t believe he was real, so I just held him and stared while everyone kept rubbing him. There were hands everywhere; it was super trippy. The pediatric nurse wanted to take him to get measured and Jessee told her we didn’t need to do that right now. The resident that delivered his head delivered the placenta (which felt like it just slid out at that point) and clamped the cord. Jessee got to cut it once it stopped pulsing, and I was still just holding Leon on my chest. I started shaking a little, which turned to a lot when the OB used a rag to wipe my vagina. OUCH. I trembled and cried and he looked a little alarmed and told me I would need stitches. I asked what degree of tear and for some reason (possibly my reaction to the cloth) he avoided directly answering me. Then he got out a needle and I said, “You’re going to stick me with a needle, too?!” But when he did it didn’t hurt at all. After that nothing really registered because I was just looking at Leon.

    My favorite memory is the quiet time we had together in the delivery room after everyone left or was sleeping. The little bedside lamp was the only light in the room, the nurses had done all their checks, I had tried to eat some cold sweet potato fries and I hadn’t slept more than 4 hours in the past two days, but all of that was a blurry background swirl to holding my baby with his head on my chest that night. 

    Troy Leon Rigney-Harris was born on May 4th, 2019, at 12:36 am. He was 9lbs, 1.3oz and 21.25 inches long.